"Is it just me, or is it somewhat ironic that many of the people on these 'Narcissist' Recovery forums met their ex on millionairematch.com and elitesingles.com?"
- Thomas Sheridan
A genuine psychopath can be best thought of as the shadow that is cast by an invisible demon, if one wants to go down the allegorical route. Even so, before you call someone a 'psychopath' it's always a really good idea to check that you are not just dealing with a regular asshole. Then, following this, try to determine if it is you that might be the asshole. In all seriousness, these are importantant distinctions.
If you have been damaged by an encounter with a psychopath - either through bullying at work, or in a vicious relationship - you'll be far too traumatised/numb/confused to be seeking revenge. You need non-hysterical information, and I would suggest staying away from most recovery forums, as they are moderated by some very toxic people who will delay your recovery by locking you into a vicious, vapid trap of seeking revenge and eternal hatred. If you do go on a forum to seek support, make sure the ALL moderators and ALL owners of the site are ALL using their real names. The witchhunt and mass hysteria nature of some of these forums is also a clear giveaway that you are not in healthy hands at all when you pour out your personal story on them. Men going though a divorce/child custody will generally be considered a 'psychopath-by default' by the mainly feminst and homosexual moderators. So be warned.
On one forum I looked at there was a post by this clearly shallow female who told her 'abuse' story of having encountered her 'spath' (oh dear...) through an on-line dating site. When she saw him at the bar and how he was dressed, she became 'suspicious' as he did not look like a successful businessman. In disgust, she went on to then tell all how she walked out of the restaurant and immediately went onto a 'recovery' forum to describe this person as a 'psychopath' and a 'narcissistic sociopath'(?!?!?!).
As expected, the nameless moderators of this forum - all self-professed 'experts' naturally - ran to her support and congratulated her for getting away from her 'abuser'! All this based on a brief look at a guy sitting at a restaurant bar. Even more disgusting, is that one of the moderators declared that all these 'psychos' should be on a public list and his name right at the top.
This is why I tell people to get off these 'recovery' groups. The hidden moderators are generally extreme co-dependents, serial false accusers or incredibly superficial upper middle-class/silver spooned hysterical 'queens' with no real life experience, but think they can evaluate all humanity into tidy little boxes of 'empaths' and 'psychopaths' and yet most of them never had a day of hardship in their lives, nor have ever known the world beyond their infantile comfort zone. Being all 'hurty' that someone dumped your white ass does not mean that person is a pathological abuser of some sort or another. While turbo-charging the schmaltz does not validate some drama queen's alleged 'abuse' either.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING: WHEN ONE IS A GENUINE VICTIM OF PSYCHOPATHIC GASLIGHTING YOU ARE IN NO STATE TO BECOME A CHAMPION OF EVERY JILTED JOHN AND JENNY UNABLE TO FACE THEMSELVES HONESTLY. THIS IS THE LITMUS TEST - YOU ARE FAR TOO FUCKED UP BY THE EXPERIENCE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ONESELF. POST TRAUMATIC STRESS IS NOT A GAME OF 'He Said...She Said...".
More importantly: most people who are victims of psychopaths experience the horror as a result of workplace bullying, criminal fraud, elderly and care abuse, police corruption, professional and career sabotage and family mindgames. Yet these 'recovery' foums are uniquely 'ex-husband and boyfriends' bitch sessions and little else.
Such fourms are incredibly dangerous places for genuine targets of psychopathic gaslighting abuse to stumble into. However, if you have been a target of gaslighting and mind games - which were purposefully designed to destroy your mind, body and soul - then you need to take care of your well-being and emotional health first by relying on the ones you love and who can support you.
I have written two books on the topic concerning the entire 'spectrum' of psychopathy dealing with the effects, tools to deal with, and how to avoid this very real issue. I do not expect you to buy them, but if you can afford them, I can promise they are very practical and down-to-earth reads.
Puzzling People: the Labyrinth of the Psychopath
If you are broke - as most victims of this rotten experience find themselves - there is a link to dozens of free videos you can watch. I present this information and it's up to you to consider it, in a mature and honest manner. Good luck and best wishes towards your own recovery story.
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